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Coming Out: Uncover Your Authentic Self

More and more women are coming out as queer, which is why this is an opportune time to discuss the process of “coming out” as an LGBTQIA+ individual. For many, there is a time in life when they want to accept their true selves and reveal this authentic identity to others. Navigating through this process can be complex, especially when heteronormativity, discussing with friends/ family, and coming out later in life are involved. These specific topics will be touched upon throughout the month.

At the moment, however, we are going to discuss the general concept of “coming out” and how one may question and come to acknowledge their identity within the LGBTQIA+ sphere.

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Defining Your True Self

Coming out is “the process where an LGBTQ+ person shares their sexual orientation and/or gender identity with themselves and others. Coming out is not a requirement of being LGBTQ+ in any way, and it is a deeply personal experience. For those who do come out, most find it to be not a singular, one-time experience, but rather a series of coming outs throughout life.”

It can be confusing when someone starts to question their identity. There are a ton of terms out there that can be used to define the vast ways gender and sexuality can be expressed. Grasping the general concept of Gender Identity/Expression and Sexual Orientation may be helpful for those who are wondering where to start. The direct quotes above and below are from the Trevor Project. The link is at the bottom of the page in addition to other useful LGBTQIA+ resources.

Gender identity: “A person’s experience of their gender; a person’s innermost concept of self as masculine, feminine, a blend of both, another gender(s), or none. This is not always congruent with biological sex or gender assigned at birth.”

Gender expression: “Gender Expression describes how we present ourselves, which can include physical appearance, clothing, hairstyles, and behavior.”

Sexual Orientation: “An individual's enduring physical, romantic, emotional, and/or spiritual attraction to members of the same and/or different sex and/or gender.”

When thinking of sexual orientation it is important to recognize that there are other types of attraction in addition to physical/sexual. The four main types are sexual, physical, romantic, and emotional.

Sexual/Physical: Who you are physically attracted to and who you desire to be physically/sexually intimate with.

Romantic: Who you desire to be romantic intimate with or in a romantic relationship with.

Emotional: Who you are attracted to/desire to bond with at a deep personal/emotional level.

Process of Coming Out

It all depends on what works for you individually. Everyone’s journey in discovering their own sexuality/gender identity is unique, there is always a combination of circumstances/factors that can affect the process of an individual coming out. A person has a right to privacy and control when it comes to their own identity. It is up to them personally to decide when/if they want to come out, how they do so, and to whom they decide to come out to.

Coming out can be stressful and overwhelming, it’s a unique journey for everyone who takes it. There is no right way to come out and it doesn’t just happen all at once. For support, hiring a coach to work with you throughout the process can be beneficial. The Queer Life Coach specializes in working with LGBTQIA+ femme identify individuals during all facets of life, especially those who come out later in life. Coming Out can be long and daunting, but when you are able to truly embrace your authentic self, it is worth it.

Remember to follow our socials listed below in addition to signing up for our email list so you are notified of upcoming blog posts, future events/coach services we provide, or any limited-time deals. Take the next step on a journey to your dream life with the help of the Queer Life Coach!

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LGBTQIA+ Resources

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