Effective Communication: Applied to Long-Distance Relationships

For this week's blog post we are going to discuss communication and how it relates to the health and success of long-distance relationships. Like any relationship communication is key. Communication helps you and or your partner establish what you both need/expect in your relationship together. There is much to be talked about when it comes to communication.

But for this specific blog, I want to focus on two aspects of communication and how they relate to long-distance relationships. The first would be the type of communication. And the second would be how Do you communicate with your partner?...how it's important to be authentic and honest when communicating. The health of any relationship, especially a long-distance relationship, relies on effective communication between you and or your partner.

How to Communicate in a Technological World

Okay, when many picture a passionate long-distance relationship they think of sprawling love letters sent by the mail. A woman waiting next to her mailbox hoping for the long-awaited letter from her love. Now I'm not saying to avoid sending your long-distance partner letter love letter, it’s a sweet romantic gesture that can spice up any relationship. The point is that nowadays there are more effective ways to communicate with your long-distance partner.

There are now many ways to contact/communicate with your partner, especially in this technological day of age. The world is at your fingertips. There's social media, texting, calling, voice chat, video chat, etc the list goes on. Texting is nice for those quick good morning or goodnight messages. You can have a quick conversation on speakerphone as you drive to the grocery store. The options are endless.

My favorite way to communicate especially when it comes to fostering my own long-distance relationship is Video chatting (whether through facetime, skype, google, zoom, etc.). It may not be as good as your partner being there in person. However, at least you can see and hear them at the same time. You can hang out or have a virtual date (get creative), share both of your emotions and reactions in real-time. Being able to see your partner's body language and look at their face as you talk to them (even virtually) helps build your connection. No matter the distance, video chatting allows you and your partner to spend quality time together.

Being Authentic: Communicating with Honesty and Vulnerability

Due to lack of time in person, the best (and sometimes only) way to connect with your long-distance partner is through conversations and discussions. There is only so much small talk that can occur before conversing becomes stagnant. Having a meaningful relationship with someone (especially long-distance) requires both involved, to be honest, and vulnerable with each other. It is how to build and foster trust. Dive beneath the surface when talking with your partner. Who are you as a person? What are your goals, your dreams, your worries? Through conversation, reveal the parts of yourself that only a few (or no one) have had the privilege to see.

Express your true emotions, both good and bad. Be Honest. If there’s a problem, actually talk about it. Also, listen to your partner if they are trying to express something to you. Keep your channels of communication open.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” -Steven R. Corey

I know this is not the easiest thing to do. Many of these conversations can be uncomfortable and just plain stressful to have. However, effectively communicating, and working through your “problems” together with your partner is what strengthens the bonds in your relationship. It builds a strong foundation for your relationship to grow no matter the distance.

Effective Communication, especially within a Long-Distance Relationship requires patience and a lot of work on both sides, but it is worth it in the end. Also, if you need guidance, you can hire a coach to help as you and/or your partner work through your relationship together. The QueerLife Coach specializes in LGBTIA+ femme-identifying couples.

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